is it impossible to find a simple purse? A backpack purse?
My old one is worn out. Like, it was worn out 3 months ago. But I can’t replace it. Because a) most purses are totes or hobos or clutches or laughably huge. I don’t want some shit digging into my shoulder or making my arm hurt or getting covered in my armpit hair, so I elect for backpacks. Yet every backpack purse on the market (or so it appears) is one of the following:
Not an actual backpack purse. There is only one strap and therefore a sling and therefore for suckers.
Stupidly easy to steal from. Hey, look at me, I have virtually no closing mechanism, look inside! Is that a tablet?
HIDEOUSLY UGLY. Like some of them will turn you to stone.
Covered in four million pockets that I DO NOT NEED.
Not having the one pocket I do need. (One with a zipper on the inside.)
Ridiculously huge or ridiculously small. Why are you making backpacks for leprechauns?
Did I mention that they are all UGLY AS SIN?